My cautious optimism wasn't without warrant. It seems as though James' delirium returned overnight. The subsequent anxiety had a negative impact on his hemodynamics, and James was placed back on sedation, along with an increase to his ventilator settings. His fluid balance is also back in the positive with an increase in edema and swelling. This is the dance of transplant recovery; a precarious balance of movement backwards and forwards, and an in-between settling space for hope and gratitude.
James has shown great potential for improvement. Movement forward is within the range of possibilities. We will continue to face complications, but I am certain that these days of renewed hope will soon start to out number those of anxieties and fears. Yesterday, I experienced my first sigh of relief since James' second double lung transplant. I am holding my breath again, but I am looking forward to the next letting go.
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