a year and a half lungiversary

Our lives are always beyond prediction.

On November 9, 2009, James moved from Victoria, British Columbia, to Toronto, Ontario in hopes of qualifying for a live-saving double-lung transplant. He was oxygen-dependent and struggling to maintain his weight about 90lbs.

James and I met in Toronto in June 2010. We formed an immediate and deep connection. It took James 10-months to qualify for transplant. He waited another 9 months on the transplant list. On May 12, 2011, James proposed before heading into the surgery that would save his life, and allow our dreams to become a possibility. In James' words, "I came for lungs, and I found love." 

Tomorrow, it will be James' 18-month post-transplant "lungiversary." It would have been impossible to imagine that James would be on this journey again within a few short years, but James and I do not regret a single day together. 

We will celebrate and honor the memory of James' donor, and that very generous and courageous decision save the lives of others during a time of incredible grief and sadness. We are so grateful for the gift of another year and a half together. We wrote a letter to James' donor family with overwhelming gratitude for an incredible year of health and happiness. As always, there were not enough words to express our gratitude.  

James' life was not only extended. He was given a quality of life that was reminiscent of childhood. We went biking, swimming, hiking, and camping. We filled our lives with laughter. (We still insist on dancing and singing on a regular basis). Our wedding was a magical evening in a celebration of life. There may be fear and sadness to be waiting for another life-saving transplant, but that does not negate the happiness and joy of best year and a half of our lives.

gratitude

James is snoring away the afternoon (and early evening), and I'm left to consider the importance of gratitude. James and I make a conscious effort to practice gratitude in our daily lives. We write in a gratitude journal on a regular basis. We also share our gratitude with each other before closing our eyes at night. We mention beauty in nature, and wonder takes over for the night. We note privilege, and dive into political conversations. We appreciate literature and a love for poetry and language, and a dreamer emerges from within each of us. 

Gratitude seems to serve an essential purpose: It acts to ground us in the present moment. It becomes a defense against the negative. It reminds of all that there is to love about being in this world. It builds strength and resilience (in the face of chaos, and everything beyond our control). Gratitude allows for connection to everything essential in our lives (and in this world). It helps give voice to all our reasons to keep fighting to be here, for ourselves, and for each other. With that, I am grateful:

I am grateful for James (and the ability to love and be loved).
I am grateful for access to the basic necessities of life.
I am grateful for access to live-saving and life-enhancing medical care.
I am grateful for the opportunity to pursue post-secondary education.
I am grateful for poetry (and the beauty of words).
I am grateful for the changing of seasons (and the vibrant reds, oranges, and yellows in our window view)
I am grateful for laughter.
I am grateful for hope and optimism.
I am grateful for friends and family (and support and care in both the best and worst of times).
I am grateful for pumpkin pie and apple cider.
I am grateful for hand-knit gloves (and small labours of love).
I am grateful for warm blankets (and the comforts of home).
I am grateful for Ophelia (and feline cuddles at all hours of the night).

and of course, I am grateful for our feline friends left home in B.C:

surprise from home!

James' good friend arrived on Wednesday in the middle of the night from British Columbia to surprise him. James was (and is) absolutely thrilled to have a friend from home. Our spirits are lifted. We definitely needed a good distraction.

We will head to Toronto Islands in the afternoon. I will update again tonight, or tomorrow morning.

We are sending out love, love, and more love.

Update: We had a great day (and that would be an understatement). It is lovely to take a break from hospitals and focus solely on having fun. We were filled with laughter and energy. We will sleep well tonight, but it is the good kind of exhaustion.

Here are some wonderful photographs from the day by our friend, Kendell, yogi and photographer (http://meandher.smugmug.com/):

James and I are very grateful to have an increasing collection of photographs together, but I should admit that I have always been hesitant about being the subject of a photograph, and I prefer to hide behind the camera. That being said, I love to be able to document our time together into a permanent collection of shared moments. We also have another friend back in Victoria with an incredible talent for photography. She generously made herself available last minute to take a beautiful series of photographs before James and I had to move back to Toronto. We love all these photographs. We love our friends.

a day in kensington

We enjoyed a day in the market with a focus on the joys of being alive. We don't need to find reasons to sing and dance each and every day. We know that importance of laughter and fun. Here are a collection of photographs from the day (with a requisite photo of a furry friend, because James' days are never complete without befriending a squirrel or two):

love. love. love.