Wednesday, September 21, 2011
I have written in a gratitude journal off and on for the last few years. focusing on gratitude has been part of a conscious choice (and process) of learning to 'be' in the present moment. in the depths of my depression, it has helped to bring awareness and connection (and voice) to the part of myself that wants to 'be' in this world. through gratitude, I start to (re)experience moments of beauty, wonder, happiness, and well, everything positive and possible in this world.
today, my thoughts of gratitude are often in connection with James. with James (and in part, because of James), I am very much a different person. this relationship has been a catalyst for change (on many different levels), but I will leave that introspection for another post. for now, I will start my gratitude journal with this: I am grateful for James (and for our relationship).
in following, I am grateful for the experience of love. that is, the ability to love, and be loved in return.
I am also grateful for my place in this world. I make an effort to focus on gratitude, rather than the shame and guilt that so easily comes from (and with) being aware of this position of privilege (and sometimes, a position of power). I feel a deep sense of gratitude for availability and access to resources that provide the daily necessities of life, including, but not limited to, clean water, fresh food, warm shelter, safety, and health care.
in that, I am grateful for a health care system that has supported me though the darkest moments of, well, (my) darkness, and given my fiance the opportunity to continue to 'breathe' (and allowing for a future together). and so, I am also grateful for each and every individual that has helped me through this journey, and James, on his own.
I am grateful for the opportunity to receive a post-secondary education (and the freedom to pursue a path of my own). I am grateful for the ability to learn, and to engage in critical discussion, and dialogue with and about the world.
I am grateful for the children that I work with (and everything that they teach me about 'being' in this world).
and I am grateful for gratitude. there is more to write, but I will end here for today.