healing with sleep

My husband no longer has a tube down his throat. I can see his beautiful face. I can cherish each and every kiss on his lips. He can mouth, "I love, love, love you" (over and over again). We can share words of strength and gratitude on paper. I long to hear his voice again, and I yearn to hold him next to me. For now, I will live in each and every sweet smile, and shining glance of shared love. We are strongest together.

James was calm for most of the day with vital signs within the normal range. He slept for a large percentage of the day. It is essential to listen to his body and allow it to heal. His request for better pain management came with the side effect of drowsiness, but again, James must honour his needs. He searches for my eyes with each waking, and greets me with a squeeze of the hand, and a reassuring smile. He has also been listening to music as a distraction, and has even played a few games on the iPad. James still experiences anxiety and panic with the breathlessness of movement or exertion. I remain as a calming presence to ease his fears. I can never be far from his side.

Weekends are slow in the hospital. We embrace the pace with gentle patience for the passage of time. James' nurse has been kind and loving. She helped to wash his hair for the first time in weeks. She took special care to ensure his comforts. We are grateful for the genuine care in a sterile environment.