Wednesday, May 29, 2013

waiting day

We spent the day in a calm anticipation. There were fears and anxieties, but also, a complete readiness for surgery. It was a hard day without the addition of overwhelming emotion. James has been very sick with nausea and vomiting, and word of a donor did not bring reprieve from his symptoms. The pneumonia (Pseudomonas) has also meant an increase in secretions and shortness of breath. The pain and discomfort seemed to heighten the desperation for transplant.

We waited for hours to hear about the viability of the donor lungs. There were continuous words of caution about the high instances of false alarms. We have learned to live with levels of uncertainties and unpredictabiliies. We held each other close (and closer). We left nothing unsaid, and all that was left was a cuddle and a handheld.

We have the privilege of an exceptional team of medical professionals. James was given a small amount of sedation in his ICU room. This was a special consideration to ease Jamie's anxieties, and allow for a proper good-bye before heading to surgery. James was finally taken to the OR at around 1:00am on Wednesday, May 29th. This new "lungiversary" is also two years to the date of James' discharge from the hospital after his first double lung transplant. I retreated to the waiting room, shaking and teary-eyed, and hoping for an escape into a sleep that still hasn't come. 

There have been no updates from the surgical team. James will be in the OR for at least another four to five hours. I long to look upon him, hold his hands, and be near to him again. He will be in sedation for a few days. I will continue to update as I am able (and awake). There will never be enough words to express our gratitude. Love. Love. Love.


  1. Thinking of you all and sending lots of love and prayers. Love Auntie Dean and family xoxoxox

  2. thinking of you all day ,praying everything will go smoothly.James is a strong person and so are you. You both have been through so much. Thoughts and prayers coming your way xoxo Stay strong

  3. This news is so wonderful! Take care of yourself during this time, and thank you for continuing to update on the progress of surgery. Love and prayers and strength are coming your way!!

  4. You don't know me, but I am praying so much for y'all right now. I have been reading Babyslime's blog for years and came upon your story. I hope everything goes well!

  5. Our prayers are with you and James. Keep strong. Hugs