fighting hard

There are always small issues of of concern, but James continues to demonstrate strength and resilience. He has a lot of fight left in him. It is incredible to watch his body adapt to all these changes. The concerns do not linger long and are easily replaced with the next cause for concern. We don't worry to the same extent, because it is all beyond our control. We need to focus on that which is within our control. We rely on our trust in the team. James is receiving exceptional care. There is always something to find gratitude for (even though it can feel otherwise).

I feel the weight of my sadness. It is not the familiar darkness of depression, but an intense grief of uncertainties (for both the present and future). I have to ground myself in the moment, and prevent my mind from wandering between possibilities and outcomes. My exhaustion makes it difficult to write more. 

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I will leave you with some photographs:

(and some knits)