Wednesday, January 16, 2013

making it through

James is, in his words, miserable. This extended hospital stay is wearing him down. He is longing is for the comforts and privacies of being at home. The feelings of fatigue and weakness, along with limited mobility, translate further into a sense of confinement. His sadness and discouragement are completely valid. It has been nearly three weeks in the hospital. It would be hard for anyone to hold onto hope (and hope is hard to come by in the hospital). We are trying to stay positive, and I do everything that I can to lift his spirits. It is difficult to feel as though we are moving forward, or least, in the direction of discharge, without a discharge plan, and with all these building uncertainties. The hospital is one long perpetual wait.

We also have to come to terms with the progressive realities of lung disease. Each and very change to James' independence requires a shift in thinking, or rather a re-framing of the circumstances. We have to rediscover and redefine a sense of normalcy. We have to learn to accept the difficult changes and make a continuous and conscious effort to recognize the small reasons for gratitude. The later can be a challenge, but is essential for getting through the hard days.

James has every right to be feeling down. I'm proud of him for every effort he makes to push himself to feel better, and to make the most out of, well, miserable circumstances. He truly is focusing on everything that is within our control. He is sitting up more often, and even walking around the unit with a walker and oxygen. He always tries to greet me with a smile. We know that these are temporary conditions. It will get better. It has to.


  1. Hello Adena ,I think of you and James often.I wish there was something or someone that could take away Jame's pain. I prat for him in hopes of James getting his new lungs .It must be very hard to watch him go through this ,but you both have to know that there are alot of people out there rooting for you. Your love for each other will help get you through this most difficult time . xoxoxoDonna [keep the faith]

    1. Thank you, Donna, it means a lot to us to feel your love and support. You are right. Our love will get us through! We are strong together and with the support from loved ones! Xoxo!

  2. Great to see you in the Treadmill Room today Adena. We are sorry that James was not up to climbing to the 12th today. We hope you were at least able to get James to a window to enjoy some of today's sunshine and the promise it brings of longer days (on the outside). Happy to hear that he is being diligent about eating what he can as he is able and hope that positive change continues for him.
    Now if we can just get the wheels of healthcare admin churning with the same verve that you bring to his room each strong and keep gently pressing the system my friend.

  3. James and Adena,
    As we go through this journey (together) I am continually amazed at your positive attitude and the incredible love and support that you give to James. This is what we do, support, encourage, and love. It's really all we can do - oh, and ADVOCATE! I am so looking forward to the day that Keith, James, you and I can share time together on the "outside" with strong, healthy lungs to breathe. Stay strong, girlfriend. Love you lots.